Wendy 的个人资料Swerds Rantings, Ravings...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
|
3月19日 Cute OverloadI'm on www.cuteoverload.com! I'm so excited! Click here for a pic of me and my mom's Mini Schnauser, Cori. 3月12日 She's Alive!!!!!Yes, I'm alive.
Things have been moving fast and furious in my world. How about all of you? Is there anyone out there?
Marty and I are doing well. Things chugging along as well as can be expected. We're starting to feel the pull of necessary change. Where that will take us? Who knows!?!
I challenge anyone to happens to drop in to leave me a message. Please let me know you were here! 12月18日 One more updateHello Everyone... As difficult as it is to write this, Jason passed away at 7:30PM/CST Sunday, December 17th at home. His loving family was at his bedside. It is a sad time, but as Jason would say; "Keep On Keepin' On", his favorite slogan with a "thumbs up" sign. A visitation will be held Wednesday, December 20th at 4PM with a prayer service at 5:30PM at St. Michael's Catholic Church - 524 - 5th Ave.N - Grand Forks, ND. Services will be Thursday, December 21st at 11AM at St. Michael's Church, interment at St. Timothy's Cemetery, Manvel. A fellowship luncheon will follow at St. Timothy's Catholic Church, Manvel. We thank you all for your prayers and loving support over these past 3 years, 4 months. You have warmed our hearts with your prayers and compassion for Jason and our family. We wish you and your loved ones a Blessed Holiday Season. INSPIRATIONS Some people come into our lives and quickly go... some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same. With love, gramma reggie 11月3日 Jason Update from ReggieSent: Monday, October 30, 2006 6:22 PM
Subject: SHORT UPDATE ON JASON S.....
Hello Everyone...
Jason had a really good weekend after struggling last week and is doing well enough today so that Lee and Shelly could take him for a ride late this afternoon to see the new snow-fall....How wonderful that the family could share a great weekend...When I talked to Shelly this morning, she was feeding Jason a blueberry pancake and bacon !!! He doesn't cease to amaze us and make us truly believe in miracles....certainly, Jason has had miracles happen....who knows...maybe .....I guess we know the answer to that....God.....Jason continues to want to attend church weekends with his family.....so humbling for all of us...
Jason gets 24/7 tender loving care from his parents and brothers....Justin comes home from school at noon to eat lunch and the first thing he does is go into Jason's room to visit him....Jared too, is very attentive and loving and soooo busy with being a senior in high school and with hockey practice and all...Justin has hockey try-outs tonight....Jason maintains his interest in what his two brothers are up to....
My day today has been spent baking cookies (gingersnap) for Halloween treats for our family....
We have a nice ground cover of new snow....wonder if this is truly the beginning of our long winter months....it entices me to get my snowmobile machine out and try it!!!
I just spoke to Lee and it's still snowing out and Jason is REALLY LOVING TO WATCH IT!!! Riding a snowmobile was one of his strong hobbies.
Peace on Earth.....
God Bless Each and Everyone and Thank you for your continued prayers.....and Believe, MIRACLES DO HAPPEN....
Friendship
Friendship that flows from the
heart cannot be frozen by
adversity,
as the water that flows from
the spring
cannot congeal in winter.
James Fennimore Cooper
Love, gramma reggie 10月18日 My life is a musical without the musicWe're well into rehearsals for Annie Get Your Gun and I'm amazed that we have as much done as we do. At the same time I wonder if I'm pushing the kids too hard, or not involving the ensemble enough. I worry that my staging is trite or even cheesy. None of the set had been built yet and while there is an extremely good reason for that, I'm constantly being asked when we will have the set. (My Tech Director is working on another show at the moment, and while the designs are drawn up, we will start building after the other show is taken care of.)
I'm in the process of completing a comprehensive prop list. That's a chore but needs to be done. I've arranged for 6 of the 8 seniors to get on the radio to do some promotion for the show (gotta call that last station to see about getting the last 2 on over there...).
We have blocked all of the show, except "Annie's Big Trick" and the big song-and-dance numbers. Those will get done over the next 3 weeks by far more talented choreographers than I.
Finally met with the costumer this past week to get some costume ideas down. It looks like we can borrow many of the costumes from the summer's production of The Music Man. For what does need to be made, we've found ways to work around the budget issues that are always present when working in public schools. Hopefully, we will be able to do the same with the set.
The show opens offically on Friday, November 17th. A day short of a month from now.
Most of the time, I feel like we're on track with where we need to be in the rehearsal process. We're two-and-a-half weeks into the process and have 4 weeks to go. Other times, it feels as if we are far behind (due to not having some songs choreographed) and many never catch up.
I have faith in my students. I know that if I can give them proper guidance, they can pull off a killer show. I have faith in me, in that I can guide at least some of these students to really good performances. But I'm still learning how to do that. I'm walking the line between taking it too seriously and letting the fun stuff pull the process off the rails. I need to find time to work with other support people in ways that doesn't pull my focus away from rehearsals. But that's the only time that some of the support people can be there too. I now understand why there hasn't been cohesiveness in musical directors at this school. While the students are great, the time frame can leave one frazzled and suffering from spinning syndrome*.
I have been offering small rewards & bribes to help speed along the rehearsal process. On Monday night, the whole cast is going to the media night of a college production of the musical Dames at Sea in which one of the choreographers/friend of our program is performing. This may be one of the few times some of the cast has seen a musical outside of being bussed to a high school show while they were in grade school. They are really excited. I've also told them that if we are far enough along by October 30th, that they might have Halloween off. That was before I found out that we can't rehearse on October 30th due to 75% of the cast participating in an out-of-town choral festival that evening. It's still up in the air. Maybe I have have a Freshman Cast Theatre Workshop the night of the 30th to teach them some basics of acting and theatre history. Like why the back of the stage is called "up" and the front of the stage is called "down". (The answer is that stage floors used to be raked--some at fairly severe angles-- so the back of the state would be noticable higher or "up" of the front of the stage. You wouldn't be able to tell from the audience and it would make more of the stage visible to the audience in general. Especially in theatres with no elevated viewing areas. )
Are you still reading this? It's a stream of consciousness posting today. Bear with me--the riding is going to get more exciting as we get closer to show time!
*Spinning Syndrome: That feeling created when you have some much going on at once that needs your full attention that you feel like you are spinning out of control without getting dizzy. Also a cause of increasing stress and anxiety. Cured by burst of loud and angry frustration and much caffiene. 9月19日 klutzThose that know me well know that I am a klutz. I come by it naturally. Despite 6 summers of gymnastics. Despite 6 years of ballet and several years of tap. If there is a way to injure myself in any given circumstances, chances are that I have or will in the future, injure myself.
Most recent occurance? Sunday night. Leaving the Master Chorale rehearsal in full concert dress (for me that's a full length, black formal gown). The parking lot of the church is recently re-paved. Smooth even. Yet my left foot found a piece of rock from the landscaping that had found it's way to the middle of the lot, near my car. So as I'm briskly heading to my car my foot lands on the rock, my left ankle rolls to the left and I land hard on my right knee. Ankle is a mild sprain, not even worth wrapping. The knee on the other hand is swollen, stiff, skinned, and just plain sore. I did end up heading to the ER that night and got sent to Urgent Care. Xrays of the knee showedno major break but the doc said something about them being "interesting" and sent them for review. I called today and they are clear. Thank goodness! Now I can put weight on the leg again and work up to loosing the brace and the crutches.
Beyond that I'm doing well. It looks like I'm going to be directing the EGF Senior High musical this year. I'm sure I will be blogging on that shortly but will also do my best to keep things positive as I know that at least some of students will likely stumble onto my humble blog. *waving* Hi Guys!
Well, I'm off to work on my concept design for the show for Mr. Voigt, my wonderful tech director. (Wow, that weird was to type!)
9月14日 Short Jason Stadstad updateHi everyone...It's been a while.....Jason has a few better days than others....last weekend he was unresponsive again from Saturday to late afternoon Sunday...very difficult time....he surprised us AGAIN and has been quite alert since then....he developed a respiratory problem due to his unresponsive state. When Lee and Shelly got him up and in a sitting position and later, into his wheelchair and onto the couch in the living room, he resumed breathing normally. They keep a constant vigil...they are very tired but strong. Jason's appetite is fair....pain is managed...He is alert and knows us all. Does not have short term memory....He is a trooper....
As I visited with them this afternoon, he was being helped eat his favorite soup made by his Mother....self spoon eating is not possible for him. However, he does use his hands to eat finger foods.
Please continue to pray for Jason's comfort and strength for his very courageous family.....
Thank you and God Bless Each and Everyone of You....
Peace on Earth
love, gramma reggie 8月30日 JusticeAlfonso Rodriguez, Jr has been found guilty of kidnapping resulting in Dru Sjodin's death.
It's a bittersweet day. I'm happy that this part of the trial is over. I'm so very happy that the jury has reached this verdict. It's finally some good news for Dru's family, friends and followers.
Now the penalty phase will begin. I fear these days may be the darkest yet for all involoved.
In theory, I support the dealth penalty. I want and need to believe that it is a violent crime deterrant. More and more I think the people that face the dealth penalty are people who would not have been deterred by anything. Short of death before they could have committed the crimes.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Justice is demanded.
I heard a fact years ago, that it costs more to put someone to death than it does to house them for a life sentence in the US. I remember that the dollar figure was significant. But I remember thinking "It's worth it to not have these violent criminals on the street ever again." Now I sit and wonder. I wonder if the death of a murder would bring any comfort to the mother of a murdered child. I wonder if knowing that the person who killed mommy or daddy would bring any comfort to the child of a victim, no matter how old they are.
The only thing I know today, is that no death can bring a murder victim back. But if that death brings comfort to those most directly affected by the violent act, who am I to deny them?
8月24日 More CakesClass was interesting tonight. Definately fun and I like the results. Below are pictures of my cake. As well as the cake of a gal in the class who really hates clowns. I named her cake clownicide. 8月17日 Talking about Momma cat nurses squirrelsCute and bringing hope. Quote Momma cat nurses squirrels 8月16日 Survival ModeWhat triggers depression?
I know that in the "normal" brain, there are triggers--job stress, money issues, loss of a loved one, even world events can cause a depression.
So what's causing my depression. Marty asked me this the other day. This one seems to have come tearing out of the clear blue sky. I can't put my finger on any cause. Yet the rational side of me (and aparently my husband) demands that there must be a cause. Something that can be pin-pointed, identified and avoided at all costs in the future. But I haven't the foggiest idea what that cause would be.
This is the hardest of any depression I've ever faced. This is the first time in my life that leaves me barginning with myself to get my butt out of bed. It hit hard on Sunday and as is the nature of bi-polarity I was pretty much OK one minute and in tears, not able to stop the next. We layed down to cuddle some--trying to get me back to an even (or should I say somewhat-more-even) keel, and I felt rooted to the bed. Like getting out of bed for any reason would physically destroy me. Marty somehow talked me out of bed and into the shower where I stood sobbing while the water beat down on me. I've felt much the same for the last 4 days. At best, I've felt numb to the world. At worst, like a baby being shaken by the world--helpless to stop the shaking or help myself.
Money is an issue. Things are unually tight this month and may be so for quite a while. My diabetes is coming to a new start in that I'm now on injectibles. Insulin. It's also supposed to be less expensive than the oral medications were but so far it's not working out that way. Credit cards are maxed beyond maxed and the new minimums are beyond what we can pay. I've been cycling between different types of vaginal infections that have left me unable to make love to my husband in over two months and while Marty is loving and caring and understanding that is taking it's toll on both of us as well.
Just
feel
like
life
is
spiraling
down
down
down.
I want to get better. I need to. Just not sure how to start this time.
Maybe just asking for help?
But how can I accept help if I don't feel worth of receiving it?
I'm babbling now. So I'll stop. More to follow. 7月25日 Short Jason updateSent: Monday, July 24, 2006 10:42 PM
Subject: Short update on Jason Stadstad
Hello Everyone...
I haven't updated for a while....not much difference from last update...Jason's paralysis mid-chest down hasn't changed....has short term memory loss....weight and vitals remain stable...appetite fair to good...some days are spent in his bed until mid afternoon depending on how tired he feels...he enjoys music and watches TV...got to watch most of his two brothers' baseball and hockey games...enjoyed visiting with his cousins from Baltimore last week...spent an afternoon at Turtle River State Park with family and cousins and had a great time....
His hair came back dark and curly and has quite a crop!!!!!
He enjoys short visits with family and friends when not too tired....
Every day is a different day and we continue to pray for good days for Jason and family....
Thank you all for your prayers and concerns....God Bless Each and Every One....
Until next time....
GOLDEN WISDOM
It isn't necessary to
understand things in order to
believe in them.
love, gramma reggie 7月22日 More Avenue QSeriously folks, if you haven't heard this soundtrack please do. You may not like all of it but I'll darn near guarentee that there will be at least one song that will make you sit straight up and say "Hey! That's my Life!" and then you'll collapse into the giggles.
Presenting: For Now
PRINCETON: 7月20日 SchadenfreudeCourtesy of Avenue Q. This kind of describes my mood at the moment.SchadenfreudeGARY COLEMAN(yes, THAT Gary Coleman): 7月10日 Jason's updateSent: Monday, July 10, 2006 2:57 PM Subject: Jason's update..... Hi all...It's been a while since I wrote....Actually, there isn't much I can add that I didn't write in the previous email...Jason has some scary bad days, but then he rallies the next day and so we go on...It was three months on July 3rd that he and family were told he had hours, days, perhaps weeks to live....He "keeps on keepin on" his famous saying....He is getting extremely great care by his parents and family and from Altru Hospice...They all work hard, faithfully and gently with him....Lee works early a.m. until afternoon. Jason doesn't usually want to get up until after 1:30 and sometimes later...all depends on his "lethargic" days. His appetite remains fair...nights are long....conversation from Jason is limited depending on how he feels...last evening he spoke some and in fact, wanted to read the "classified"add section of the Grand Forks Herald. He amazes all of us. Jason is never left alone...He seems to enjoy rides in the handicap van....this van is such a blessing to all of them....It's so great for all of them just to get out of the house....Hopefully tomorrow night Jason can watch his brother, Justin, play baseball with his team here in the Manvel Park, but every day is a different day for him. Jason and his parents and Justin got to go to Minnesota via van to watch Jared play summer hockey state tournaments...Jason said he had a great time...Jared's team won 3rd place from many great teams, some of them from the Twin Cities. Lee and Shelly remain quite strong...their strenght dwindles when they get over-tired and stressed out....they too are amazing and I am so proud of them. God is Great. Thank you for all your continued prayers for Jason and family and remember to pray for Peace so our military troops stay safe and can come home soon.....and God bless all your loved ones. And so until next time, God loves you and so do I.... PROMISE KEEPERS In those moments when life looks so bleak and our distressess seem to overtake our praises, we reach out to God and just want to know tht He is there and He hasn' t forgotten our petitions. These are the times when we need reassurance of all His promies. And so we pray and stay faithful. gramma reggie 7月5日 Talking about Cats Watching Ping PongI'm sorry for the long time between posts folks. I'm still here. My health is still relatively stable. I haven't had a whole lot to say as of late and thus have been finding it difficult to come and write. For those of you who blog, let me assure you that I either read your site regularly, or would love to start if you would be so kind as to leave a comment with the address to your site.
Marty and I had our first anniversary earlier this week. We didn't do much. Presents were exchanged and he gave me the most beautiful card I have ever read. We stayed in for the most part. Cooked for ourselves. Spent a good portion of the day watching the Paula Deen mini-marathon on the food network. Also saw "The Devil Wears Prada" (thanks to XL93 where I won the tickets). I got a feeling similar to what I had the days after the wedding: "I built up so long for this?" But it was exactly us. Quiet, insular, intimate, and not needing anything else. But after hearing of how so many other couples are making that first anniversary into such a huge ta-do, it was also a little-----I don't know how to put it. The word that comes to mind is disappointing but it wasn't that at all.
Like most things that Marty and I do, we're just a little different. We didn't take a traditional honeymoon because we couldn't afford a big trip, and because my only first cousin was getting married a few months after our wedding---we weren't going to miss that for the world. So our "honeymoon" was going to North Carolina and spending about a week with my family. Well, instead of making our anniversary into a huge deal, we spent it alone and together, and we're going to go see "The Phantom of the Opera" up in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada in October. (We have the tickets---just don't know if we can offord to spend the night.)
OK, I've just re-read what I've written so far and realized that I'm more in the dumps than I realized or care to admit. And if you haven't figured out why just yet, all I'm going to tell is that money is beyond tight right now. But I still have hope (for the time being) that it will somehow work out. I hope.
Alright, enough downers. Watch this video. It cheered me up. but you may want to watch it with the sound turned down or off if you don't like hearing asian tv announcers with squeeky voices. You have been warned... Quote Cats Watching Ping Pong 6月5日 SpiritThis person continues to amaze me. I've been meaning to post this since I saw it in the paper on Saturday. But here goes. Check out this artice in the Grand Forks Herald for coverage on the Relay for Life. Below is a short quote that sums up why so many people love Jason Stadstad so much (including me) even if we have not yet met him.
...Shelly, spoke first. She said doctors discovered that he had a non-operable brain tumor when he was only 16. Shelly Stadstad talked of his bravery, saying that after he was diagnosed, he prepared for the ensuing fight.
"He decided he was ready to fight this battle, and he would be a survivor," she said. Jason then took the microphone and thanked the crowd for attending. Tears streamed down many faces in the park as he waved at friends in the audience. "I need all you guys to keep fighting, keep praying. We'll beat this." My health updateI'm here. Blood sugars are still all over the place and I'm still having problems with energy levels. I'm on a new-to-me medicine. The real name is Glucovance, generic version is glyburide-Metformin. With the new medicine, my blood sugar can get too low. This means that I'll be back to monitering several times a day (instead of the low suggestion of 2-3 times per week at one point or the previous recomendation of twice per day). I'll be checking between 3 & 5 times per day on average.
I am hoping that this med makes a noticable difference fairly quickly. Because that will be the only way we can justify the expense. Even the generic version with my decent medical insurance costs about $35 a month. On top of my thyroid meds (another $30 a month) and all other day-to-day expenses. ARG!
Fasting this morning was 186, I missed the time for my mid morning snack but just a moment ago before I ate an abbreviated one (Skippy Snack Bar) I was down to 144. Better. Not good--- but within guide-lines. 5月30日 Scaring myselfFor those of you that don't know, I'm a type 2 diabetic.
I haven't been taking care of myself like I should. I haven't been eating right. Haven't even been pretending that I intend to get any excersize. And I'm supposed to be a diet controlled diabetic. (Insert my own scoffing chuckle here)
Marty recently pointed out that I've been extremely tired nearly all the time lately. I hadn't realized it until he mentioned it.
And I've gained back nearly all the wieght that I had lost between my diagnosis in March 2004 and my wedding last July since New Years.
But what scared me the most was on Monday, I got up early to make a coffee cake for the family. It came out of the oven and Marty and I sat and ate some (I had more than I should). Then I proceeded to go back to bed at about 8am. And I slept hard for about another 4 1/2 to 5 hours. Didn't hear anything, had real trouble waking up. Even when I tried to get up I was still so tired and groggy that I felt like I was in a carb crash.
At about 4:30pm I finally dragged my butt out of bed and got cleaned up and ate "lunch". Then supper at 6. At 11pm last night I checked my blood sugar for the first time in months. I hadn't eaten anything since 7pm, my only drink was water or diet soda (no sugar or carbs) and my blood sugar was 293. I hadn't eaten in 4 hours and my sugar was still more than double what it should have been only 2 hours after eating.
I checked my sugar this morning about 4:30am (bladder woke me up---another warning sign) and it was down to 139. High but not as scarey. I should have been between 90 & 120. Took my thyroid pill and an hour later it was up to 147. Pardon me but WTF?
For anyone not familiar with what blood sugar levels should be, (and I may be off a little here as I'm going from memory):
Normal fasting blood sugar: 60-90
Normal post-meal: 90-120
My targets:
Fasting blood sugar: 90-120
Post-meal: 140-160
Marty's brother is a type 1 diabetic. His was adult onset and hit him like a Mack Truck a few years ago. He checks his sugars regularly and has an insulin pump rather than having to deal with shots. But as he was an adult and living 9 hours away when this started, Marty and his parents aren't familiar with how to deal with the day-to-day ins and outs. As his weight still seems to be flucuating a lot, I'm not sure his brother is totally in tune with what his body needs any more either. But the insulin pump does help him if he "carbs out" so he seems to be on a somewhat more even keel.
I have an appointment with my primary care doc on Friday afternoon. I called his office to see if I can come in tomorrow or Thursday for fasting bloodwork so that I can get back into a program or care regimen of some kind. And I'm going to insist that Marty come with me. We talked about it a little last night after the 293 scare. That if I'm going to be able to take care of myself, I need a little more support from him. He may be able to be satisfied on a meal a day but that's just not an option for me. Not to mention that it feels really crappy to be one of the largest people in the restaurant and have someone sitting across from me just watching me eat. I know what I used to think of couples like that and now my own thoughts are coming back to haunt me.
And the food that I cook will have to be modified a bit too. Baking included. I love to bake. But instead of making full batches, I think I'll experiment with half or third batches. Just enough for the family to eat in a sitting or two. That way it won't be calling out to me to eat more.
And I'll look into the lower carb pasta. |
|
|
